Dallas Laird
Reese27Alien vs Predator
January 26th 2009 05:24
This afternoon, I really wanted to eat lasagna. More than anything. So I went to the awesome Italian place after work, bought some, and then went to Woolworths, and bought $20 of cheeses and dips.
Stay with me, this is relevant.
I go home, and eat the $20 of delicious deli goods. Drink some beers, and now I am too full to eat the lasagna that I was dreaming about all day.
Seeing an Alien vs. Predator movie is just like that. I loved EVERY MOVIE of the Alien quadrilogy. Yes, even the ones that were awful (hi there Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection) so clearly I have a high threshold for terrible, as long as it means I get to see annoying one dimensional characters being chased and killed by aliens.
You can see why I was so excited about Alien vs. Predator from the first time I saw the massive Alien attacking Predator display at the movie theatre. The slogan "Whoever wins, we lose" ? Fantastic! It'll be just like Cabin Fever, when all the characters I hated died. Who cares if it's written terribly, everyone is going to die. Perfect.
Alas, t'was not to be. Instead, it becomes every dodgy end of the world movie ever - Rich archaeologist dude pays a bunch of cutting edge researchers (of course) to go investigate a secret underground pyramid. As you do. It goes to shit (as it always does) and I thought this would lead to the horribly, yet entertaining deaths of all humans. You'll understand why I was heartbroken when I realised that this was not to be. Instead we got the heartwarming tale of a Predator and his new BFF, tour guide lady, and their mass murder of Aliens. What the hell ever, dude.
In order to save you from yourselves (like someone should have saved me from my deli food), I'm going to spoil the movie for you.
THE END of the movie is Predator's BFF killing the Alien Queen using icy water. The Predators choose this moment to land their mothership, give Predator's BFF one of their hi tech spears, and zoom off into space. But oh no! Turns out that her Predator friend has an Alien living inside his chest. Dun dun dun, roll credits. Set the scene for an even worse sequel.
(You're welcome)
- Kim
Stay with me, this is relevant.
I go home, and eat the $20 of delicious deli goods. Drink some beers, and now I am too full to eat the lasagna that I was dreaming about all day.
Seeing an Alien vs. Predator movie is just like that. I loved EVERY MOVIE of the Alien quadrilogy. Yes, even the ones that were awful (hi there Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection) so clearly I have a high threshold for terrible, as long as it means I get to see annoying one dimensional characters being chased and killed by aliens.
You can see why I was so excited about Alien vs. Predator from the first time I saw the massive Alien attacking Predator display at the movie theatre. The slogan "Whoever wins, we lose" ? Fantastic! It'll be just like Cabin Fever, when all the characters I hated died. Who cares if it's written terribly, everyone is going to die. Perfect.
Such promise.
Alas, t'was not to be. Instead, it becomes every dodgy end of the world movie ever - Rich archaeologist dude pays a bunch of cutting edge researchers (of course) to go investigate a secret underground pyramid. As you do. It goes to shit (as it always does) and I thought this would lead to the horribly, yet entertaining deaths of all humans. You'll understand why I was heartbroken when I realised that this was not to be. Instead we got the heartwarming tale of a Predator and his new BFF, tour guide lady, and their mass murder of Aliens. What the hell ever, dude.
In order to save you from yourselves (like someone should have saved me from my deli food), I'm going to spoil the movie for you.
THE END of the movie is Predator's BFF killing the Alien Queen using icy water. The Predators choose this moment to land their mothership, give Predator's BFF one of their hi tech spears, and zoom off into space. But oh no! Turns out that her Predator friend has an Alien living inside his chest. Dun dun dun, roll credits. Set the scene for an even worse sequel.
(You're welcome)
- Kim
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