Erin StapletonSurprise! the new mummy movie sux
September 6th 2008 15:01
"The Mummy 3: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" (2008) Rob Cohen
Um, Lame.
OK - proper review. So, I really like the first two mummy movies - they have a sense of humour and their own in-jokes and references to the original mummy movies way back when. They have Brendan Fraser, being weirdly attractive in his tubby, squishy faced way... and most importantly, they have Rachel Weisz as this charismatic, lusty, ballsy, spazzy librarian/archaeologist. The first thing wrong with the third mummy installment is that the Evie character is now some awful chick I've never heard of called Maria Bello, who is this toothy, bloodless, uptight English lady.
Now, I've never liked Rachel Weisz, but she's always worked in this role, mostly because her character is supposed to be 'half-eqyptian' and a reincarnation of an ancient egyptian princess, and she looks the part. So, that makes the new chick extra lame, compounded by a completely inconsistent story, Evie has turned from a librarian archaeologist curator into a writer/spy and nasty bitch pseudo mother-in-law (I've had a few run-ins with those, urgh). Which brings me to the next thing wrong with the third mummy movie, Rob Cohen directed it instead of Stephen Sommers (who did the other two). Stephen Sommers had a particular way of linking and involving everything, and drawing from ancient history/myth and incorporating it into the film. He could direct sequences that inspired suspense, and could hold viewers' attention spans (although the third quarter of the second mummy movie did have its lax moments). Sommers also knows how to laugh at himself. Rob Cohen fails on all these counts.
The next major failing of the third mummy movie, is that Brendan Fraser is not quite forty, his co-star Maria Bello, is forty one, and yet together they play the parents of someone in their mid-twenties, someone who has managed to drop out of university, but still convince someone to give him major funding to head an archaeological dig. Stupid. The insipid (27 year old) wanker they've got to prance about playing Alex O'Connell doesn't help. Meanwhile, the talents of Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are summarily ignored and offensively underused the entire film. (It's almost as though they were cast because the director heard they were Chinese.) And there's this bit at the end when you think 'woo! epic battle' but no, it's just epic slow motion.
To be honest, I kept trying to find excitement in "The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor", I was looking forward to it and really wanted it to be good. So even if you look past the stupid plot holes, inconsistencies with the previous films, and the crap re-casting. It's still a shit film.
Bummer.
Um, Lame.
OK - proper review. So, I really like the first two mummy movies - they have a sense of humour and their own in-jokes and references to the original mummy movies way back when. They have Brendan Fraser, being weirdly attractive in his tubby, squishy faced way... and most importantly, they have Rachel Weisz as this charismatic, lusty, ballsy, spazzy librarian/archaeologist. The first thing wrong with the third mummy installment is that the Evie character is now some awful chick I've never heard of called Maria Bello, who is this toothy, bloodless, uptight English lady.
replacement evie - maria bello
Now, I've never liked Rachel Weisz, but she's always worked in this role, mostly because her character is supposed to be 'half-eqyptian' and a reincarnation of an ancient egyptian princess, and she looks the part. So, that makes the new chick extra lame, compounded by a completely inconsistent story, Evie has turned from a librarian archaeologist curator into a writer/spy and nasty bitch pseudo mother-in-law (I've had a few run-ins with those, urgh). Which brings me to the next thing wrong with the third mummy movie, Rob Cohen directed it instead of Stephen Sommers (who did the other two). Stephen Sommers had a particular way of linking and involving everything, and drawing from ancient history/myth and incorporating it into the film. He could direct sequences that inspired suspense, and could hold viewers' attention spans (although the third quarter of the second mummy movie did have its lax moments). Sommers also knows how to laugh at himself. Rob Cohen fails on all these counts.
The next major failing of the third mummy movie, is that Brendan Fraser is not quite forty, his co-star Maria Bello, is forty one, and yet together they play the parents of someone in their mid-twenties, someone who has managed to drop out of university, but still convince someone to give him major funding to head an archaeological dig. Stupid. The insipid (27 year old) wanker they've got to prance about playing Alex O'Connell doesn't help. Meanwhile, the talents of Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are summarily ignored and offensively underused the entire film. (It's almost as though they were cast because the director heard they were Chinese.) And there's this bit at the end when you think 'woo! epic battle' but no, it's just epic slow motion.
jet li and brendan fraser, you know, fighting or something
To be honest, I kept trying to find excitement in "The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor", I was looking forward to it and really wanted it to be good. So even if you look past the stupid plot holes, inconsistencies with the previous films, and the crap re-casting. It's still a shit film.
Bummer.
| 39 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
